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In a perfect world, a husband and wife will both reach the conclusion that they need to homestead and begin a new life on their own land. But, what can convince the spouse that is reluctant with homesteading? My friend, Lacy, was the reluctant spouse. In today’s video, you can hear my interview with her as I help her move to start life with her husband on their homestead. Today’s post will cover my advice for all reluctant homesteading spouses.
The Reluctant Spouse Wants Job Security
Job Security is first on the list because it will also affect the decision of the husband. If a wife is the one that wants to move to the country or start a homestead, this factor could keep the husband reluctant. Men don’t want to leave their high-paying city jobs. Wives also want their husbands to take care of them. If they don’t see that the husband has a job, how will he afford to homestead? Will they forever be roughing it?
In my situation, my husband moved a month ahead of the family and still had no job when we joined him. I didn’t have a job either. Neither of us was reluctant. We moved by faith, trusting that God would provide.
In Lacy’s situation, she wasn’t moving far and had a job. She was concerned that her husband did freelance jobs that were 3 hours away. Somehow, they had managed to rent a home and make payments on the land. Her husband was building a shed in his spare time. Then, their landlords said they would no longer be renting their home. They would have to move.
The Reluctant Spouse Wants a House
Who wouldn’t want to move to a house? I certainly wasn’t initially considering homesteading on raw land. The dream is to move to the country and have a nice home to put all your stuff. We didn’t qualify for a home loan and didn’t have jobs to prove that we could pay for such a loan. Fortunately, we got a private loan for the property that we found. We bought a motorhome to live in temporarily. We had the metal building put up. It would eventually be our home.
Lacy was reluctant about moving from a house to live in a trailer. They had a lot of dogs and cats. Watch the video to hear how many of each. They were making payments on this nice trailer they found, and then their landlords gave them another trailer. One trailer could be for her husband and the dogs, and the other could be for her and the cats. Still, the idea of living in a trailer for two years, or more, was not something she wanted to do.
I shared with her that with troubles coming upon this earth, it will be better to be out of the city where she can be more self-sustaining. Abraham and Sarah were the first married couple that God called to leave the city for a life in the country. They had to live in tents. When Lot and his wife turned toward Sodom, they were happy to leave their tents for the city life. When God called them to leave the city before He destroyed it, Lot had a reluctant spouse. She didn’t want to homestead again. She coveted her city home and looked back when she was told not to. There will come a time when those who choose not to leave the cities, will suffer the judgments that come upon them.
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The Reluctant Spouse Wants Water
The reluctant spouse wants water and all the things that go with it. This would include a shower, sink, flush toilet, and washer. If you tell your wife that you are going to live in a tent, this won’t go over too well. Unfortunately, the laundromat will be the best option for washing the clothes. This is not convenient, but it is doable.
In my case, we had a motorhome with a shower and kitchen sink. We filled the motorhome tank with a hose hooked to a water pump that pumped water from the creek. We made our own composting toilet. This wasn’t convenient either. The bucket had to be carried to a hole and the contents buried.
Lacy was having serious concerns about the water situation that she was facing. The property had a well, but the pump was broken and it would cost around $800.00 to get the new parts. It would also be difficult getting it up to fix it since it was 20 feet below the surface. They would have to haul in their water in their thirteen 5-gallon water jugs. Then, they would be able to pour the water into the trailer holding tanks for showers and running water at the sinks. They rented a portable toilet and would have to pay for the monthly dumping.
I reminded Lacy that Abraham and Sarah had none of these conveniences. They had to dig a well by hand. Isaac had to deal with disputes over the well and had to dig several wells before the disputes stopped. We need to count our blessings.
The Reluctant Spouse Wants Electricity
Your spouse probably doesn’t want to live without electricity like 940 million people in the world (13 percent). The homesteading option will be a generator until solar panels can be set up. Note: No one in the Bible had electricity.
Our motorhome came with a generator. It didn’t last very long. My husband bought a couple of cheap, loud generators that didn’t last very long either. I don’t believe that my husband realized how often the oil needed to be changed. We eventually got a Honda generator that was made to run with less noise.
Lacy’s husband got a generator too. He ended up leaving it on all day and late into the night to keep the television on. Lacy had to have it off to sleep. I don’t recommend running a generator that long, because gas prices are so high. Also, our county doesn’t want us using them too much and wants us to have a permit to use one.
The Reluctant Spouse Wants an End Date
If the reluctant spouse knows that her husband is a dreamer and has made promises before, that he didn’t keep, she will be wary of this kind of venture. A wise wife will want to know the plan. Where will the money come from to develop the land and to build the house? How much will it cost? How long is all this going to take?
I was not reluctant, but I did have a dreamer husband. He didn’t have any idea how much it would cost to develop the land and build our home. Or did he? His hope was that he would find gold on our property to be able to do all that was needed. It was a lovely dream. We never found the gold.
In Lacy’s situation, her husband had made promises to her before. He got her in debt and his promises to get her out of debt were like ropes of sand. He was a big dreamer. It is good to dream, but the dream needs to be realistic.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I have shared five reasons why a spouse might be reluctant to homestead. Knowing why will help with the change of mindset. Husbands will need to deal with each one of these reasons. I motivated Lacy by sharing the importance of living in the country during the coming time of tribulation. What will be more difficult, living on a homestead now without the conveniences of city life, or living in the cities when there are food shortages or lack of water due to a natural disaster? Will people try to flee the cities in search of food? What will they be able to take with them? All I can say is, remember Lot’s wife. Go forward as God leads and don’t look back and never complain. Rejoice!
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