We will look at five reasons for homestead divorces which I have seen in my own and two other marriages. So, be sure not to do them. There  will be a video at the end.

Living the Dream Leads to Divorce

What? How can living the dream lead to divorce? One day, I heard my husband tell someone on the phone that he was “living the dream.” It was always his dream to own a section of land on which to homestead. Well, it was only half a section that I had found, but he was happy with it. He really had it good. Basically, he could work on the homestead as much or as little as he wanted because he didn’t have a job. How could he manage financially? While he was living his dream, I was working.

The Working Wife

I suppose that some men dream to have a working wife so that they can live their dream. Even though the wife may agree to this at first so that the husband can be free to set up the homestead, this should only be temporary. When a husband is dependent on the wife financially, she loses respect for him, because he is supposed to be her provider. Gradually, she will grow to resent this arrangement.

Leisure Time

Part of the dream was having leisure time to spend by the creek or in a private computer activity. But, while my husband was enjoying himself, I was spending long days at work to support him and my two teenagers.  Actually, the teenagers didn’t respect him, because he didn’t respect himself. He acted out how he felt by disrespecting them. Deep down, every man knows that he should be supporting his family.

Another Working Wife

There was another wife that I knew who always had to scramble to get a job to support her four children because her husband had to develop their property. Also, he liked the freedom to do ministry. This builds resentment over months and years. You can be sure that she encouraged him to get a job. Sadly, she gave up on him after 20-plus years and filed for divorce. It is said, that men want to be respected. Wives want to respect their husbands, but that respect is earned. Guys, get a job as soon as possible.

Dreams Include the Wife

This may come as a surprise to some men, but women do dream of having a husband that is able to provide for her and the children. If he isn’t working, what happens when they have an anniversary? Should the wife be paying the bill for their special restaurant meal? It is very awkward. Also, be sure that your wife is also dreaming to have a homestead. Some wives reluctantly go along with it and then want to give up and return to the easy city life.

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Illegal Activities Could Lead to Divorce

Illegal activities can put a strain on a marriage and increase the motivation of the wife to get out of the marriage. In my case, I agreed to go forward without permitting anything. Actually, deep down this really bothered me since my dad had been a commissioner. Besides, I didn’t want to fight with the county in court and have my property taken away from me.

In the case of a friend of mine, her husband was growing and selling marijuana illegally. Naturally, he wanted her to help him with the harvesting. As her walk with God grew, she didn’t want to smoke it or grow it anymore and this caused tension in her marriage. Two cannot walk together unless they are agreed.

Hardships Could Lead to Divorce

In my case, I can’t say that hardship led to me wanting to divorce my husband. In many ways, I could see how he tried to decrease the hardships by getting the water and septic systems in place. On the other hand, my friend had her marriage really strained by the hardships.

My friend’s husband was a dreamer, as my husband and the other husband mentioned. He bought a property that had no water and he was going to get a well drilled when he had the money. Consequently, water had to be brought in to fill the tanks in their two trailers. There was a rented  Porta Potty that had to be used in the rain and snow. The driveway was steep and unpaved, and it became muddy in the rain and impossible with the snow. My friend needed to be able to get to work.

Unfaithfulness Leads to Divorce

Being unfaithful to meet your spouse’s needs can lead to an actual affair. There are also virtual affairs that could be brought into the marriage by a previous addiction. In both, love is lacking and the spouses will deal with it in different ways.

An Actual Affair

In the case of my second friend, before homesteading, she slept in their bed while her husband slept on the couch with his dogs. Of course, she did her wifely duties, her husband showed to her that he loved his dogs more than he loved her. Not to mention, he would cuss her out and put her down. His treatment of her left her wide open for someone to treat her special and an affair occurred. That caused him not to trust her and he treated her even worse. She finally left and found someone that would really love her. So, men, make sure that you love your wives.

Virtual Affairs

Virtual affairs can include emotional affairs and virtual sex by viewing pornography and masturbating both of which are unfaithful to the wife. Sadly, my marriage had both of these.

An Emotional Affair

By the time we were ready to homestead, I had already threatened to divorce my husband several times. I would try to forgive him, but trust is earned, and he knew that I didn’t trust him. Consequently, he started reaching out to women on Facebook. Well, I had access to his Facebook and could see that he was adding women more than men. I could also see that he was flirting with them. Finally, he settled on one woman named Kim. Amazingly, he arranged to call her on our trip for him to see the property for the first time.

After we arrived, I confronted him about it, and he apologized and said that he would end it. Well, I got to read his Facebook love letters to her. Who really knows what he was thinking? He knew that she was planning to marry a guy in another country. Incredibly, I had to confront him two more times to stop writing to her. Divorce came up again and he said that I needed him to homestead. Finally, he cut the relationship.

Virtual Sex

If you men (or women) get yourselves addicted to pornography, don’t kid yourselves that you will stop if only you can get married. You will resort to this and excuse it by saying that you aren’t committing adultery. But what did Jesus say?

Watch the Video

This video is 38 minutes long. I cover similar information, but add some extra details like what caused me to finally divorce my husband and how I finally got the courage to tell him about my decision.